“You Don’t Have to Experience Other People’s Pain Yourself, to Understand How that Pain Hurts”
There are many people out there, trying to “analyze” everybody else. They attempt to “read” you by the way you conduct yourself, the way you dress, the way you talk, the things you say, the things you write, the photos you post on Social Media, the music you listen to, the people you may or may not hang out with, the things you like, the people you follow on Social Media, the things you do, the food you eat.
You have people that have no clue whom you are, making an assessment of your personality, based on a couple of post and based on what you share on Social Media, to find out your “personality” type. What is even worse, is the so called “experts” analyzing you, based on their “professional experience” and you, the individual, believing them, without making your own conclusions and getting to know yourself, and by yourself. Sounds familiar?
A couple of years ago, some people told me “I was too sensitive” and others told me “I was too independent” (The first ones, some men, thought crude jokes about women, in front of women were okay, because none of the other women said anything and I spoke up and told the men, those jokes were not appropriate, and the second people believe, I should hang out with the wrong crowd, just to fit in)
Those two kind of people were trying to analyze me, based on what their perception was of someone that reacted to people like them, which was different than what they were used to. Yes, I am sensitive and I have the right amount of sensitivity to understand pain hurts a lot, even if I do not experience it myself.
I am independent when I need to be and I like to have the support from others, when I need that support. I understand we all need each other in this world and great things are accomplish when more than one person contributes, as long as all parties are in the same page and they work to accomplish a common goal, and they share the same vision.
And now that this is clear, let’s move on with the topic today; Empathy. Empathy is the emotional ability to understand what other people feel, and the ability to place yourself in other people’s situation. We are all capable of show empathy, because we have all experience pain and sorrow to a certain degree and we all have experienced the emotions that accompany that pain.
My life and that of my family growing up, to say the least, was very hard, very difficult, and yet, since I was a little girl, I was blessed, I was never abused, I was never mistreated, I was never neglected, and as a matter of fact, I was shown a lot of affection, love and attention, however, I saw the opposite around me, near me and close to me, which allowed me to developed, from a very early age, a high degree of empathy, towards people and specially towards animals.
From an early age, I realized that some people were not kind towards others just because and for not reason at all, and that made me sad and still makes me sad today. I saw people crying out of desperation and impotence, and I saw people extremely sad and depressed and I did not understand at the time, why they allowed themselves to be in a situation where it look like there was no hope.
I saw children that had been physically abused, neglected, and abandoned by their mother and I saw them thriving, smiling and being good to me and treating me with kindness. I saw the pain in their eyes, and yet, I also saw hope in their innocent eyes. I felt their pain and their anguish.
I was blessed to live in beautiful places, surrounded by nature and many animals. Growing up with so many of them, allowed me to get very close to many of our farm and domestic animals. I was able to get so close to many of them and to understand animals also have many feelings and they also feel pain, emotional and physical and just like humans, they also like to receive a lot of attention and a lot of time and love, and I also learned that unlike humans, the love they give us is unconditional and never ending.
When I say I have been greatly blessed, it is because of this and many other amazing experiences I have lived and many opportunities that have been given to me, to learn, to grow, to put many of the things I learn, in practice and more than anything, to develop that sensitivity that allows me to understand others.
And to end, I would like to offer an advise. Please, do not play the psychologist and do not try to read people. We, people, come in all types and forms, with no label attached, because we are not a thing, nor merchandise that can be “classified” nor sold.
We are no introverts, nor extroverts. We are no good and no bad. We are not different, just unique, however, we are all capable of offering great empathy to others, by understanding their pain and suffering is not different than ours, because we are all living creatures that have feelings.
I hope you have a great night and a great week ahead.