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An artist and an animal lover. Life is beautiful!!

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Social Me

Social Comparison

This is not new, however, it is more prominent nowadays, with the proliferation of Social Media, mobile apps and digital devises. Some people are not happy and “confident” about themselves and their abilities, unless they feel “superior” and they put others down.

These people are afraid to not been able to measure up to other people’s expectations about themselves and they think that in order to be liked by others and to be successful and popular among others, they have to be either “equal” or “better” than those other people, their neighbors next door and everybody else in the world.

Sometimes though, even if the “copycats”  are able to spread rumors and gossip about others and even if they are able to “dethroned” the people they, themselves think are high above, in reality, they are not accomplishing anything of value and worth the time.

These people will never be happy and as long as there is anyone else, genuinely good, nice, creative, and someone that has been able to create success in their own terms and without having to step over people, these other individuals will always attempt to destroy that.

These people have the need to compare themselves to others, because they feel inadequate and if they feel that way, others should have too, and they rationalize the matter that way. Another thing that has been happening, I am sure, since the beginning of time, when it comes to social comparison, es defining individual worth with the individual’s social and economic status, and, or profession.

It seems and in most cases, we give more importance and more value, to someone with a college or university degree, than to someone without them. Sometimes, and most of the time, money is and will be “power” and it can and it will define how we may treat some individuals, for the abundance and lack of money and material possessions they may or may not have.

When we meet someone new, instead of asking them what type of car, or house or work they have, we should be asking them what they like, what makes them happy and what is their favorite type of food, because everybody is looking for and has the right to receive validation as a human being.

We are all different from one another and that is actually a great thing. we should not fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to anyone else. We all have great talent, great potential and great ideas. I can benefit greatly from you, at the same time you can benefit from me, however, in most conversations I have been included and in most conversations I have heard, the first thing I always hear most people ask is: “So, what do you do for a living?”

And it also seems that not only the magazine stands, but any social media site is always showcasing those very recognizable and famous people, and people with a lot of material possessions and comparing one from another, from their aesthetic beauty to their net worth.

Social Media if used correctly is an incredible, amazing tool to exchange ideas, to share great news and to collaborate in many wonderful ways, however, there are people using Social Media as a way to compare themselves to others and there are others that feel, they cannot measure up to the expectations they think, they have to fulfill.”

Social comparison has been happening for thousand of years and it will continue happening and nobody will stop it because there will always be people that feel inferior and people that will always feel superior, however, how we manage social comparison everywhere, every day, is the key to not let it affect our lives, our work and our relationships.

We are not the large or small house we can afford. We are not the designer brand shoes we are wearing, or the second hand clothes in our closet. None of those things defined us as a person, and there is more substance to an individual that the material things they can and cannot afford.

We need to know that our contributions as individuals are important no matter how small they “seem” to be, and most importantly, we need to know the value we have individually in society and the value of other human beings. Yes, some times people may have more abundance of certain things and it may seem as if they don’t have a worry in this world, however, we do not know what they are going through.

Also, people have the right to live “opulent” lives if they have the means and the money and it is not right for any of us to pass judgement and to tell people they cannot live that luxury life style. At the same time, we should be grateful for what we have, our unique talents and the unique experiences we have and we can share that with others, even if we think they are small, because someone can benefit receiving our genuine smile.

And as much as we want to live up to other people’s expectations, we will never be able to fulfill that. We can please some, but we cannot please everyone and that is a fact. We need to be proud of ourselves as individuals and we need to count our many blessings, our many talents, and we need to be part of  this world, because we are the world.

And we can be part of this world, without having to be, act and do everything just like everybody else. Lets do our own thing not what others imposed on us and what others think we should be doing.

This world is so amazingly beautiful because it is so unique, so different and so diverse. It will certainly be so boring if there would be thousands of replicas of myself out there, not only looking the same as I do, but doing the same thing I do everyday!! (What a scary thought!!)

I don’t want that and what I want to continue doing is using Social Media as a tool to communicate with talented people. I will continue looking forward to see creative people in action and their amazing contributions.

I will continue to write, to post, to like, to follow, to collaborate, to be inspired and hopefully to inspired and to go with the flow of things, specially technology and may the force be with all of us, and may Social Media continue to bless us in many great ways.

-Nedelka-